Parents' Guide to Helping Your Child
Succeed in the Residence Halls

Student Development

Attending college marks an important transition in your child’s intellectual, personal, and social development. It is a time for him/her to gain independence and begin to function as adults. The Office of Residence Life seeks to collaborate with you to ensure successful growth and to build joint support systems. Ultimately we seek to work with you to empower your child to independently resolve problems or concerns that may arise in the residence halls or elsewhere on campus as a basis for a successful transition into adulthood. Below is information and suggestions on how you can assist your child when he/she experiences the ups and downs common to new students entering the residence hall environment.

Living with a Roommate

Even the best matched pair of roommates may encounter difficulties during the year. Remind your child to keep an open mind to cultural, lifestyle, and other differences among individuals. There are multiple perspectives to any conflict and it is important to explore all sides. Encourage your child to establish open communication with his/her roommate and set reasonable expectations of each other. Students are asked to complete a Roommate Agreement form in the beginning of the year. This is a chance for roommates to discuss their preferences and create the kind of environment they will share. Topics include use of personal property, cleaning, and guests. Compromises, honesty, respect, and mutual consideration are integral to developing the Agreement. This document should be revisited throughout the year as habits and values will begin to change. Maintaining the roommate relationship takes effort on both sides. 

Resolving Roommate Conflicts

If a problem arises, please encourage conversation between your child and his/her roommate to resolve the conflict. Examples of discord that might occur include one roommate borrowing clothing without asking the other; a roommate may find him/herself cleaning up for both individuals; one roommate may prefer studying with the TV or music on, while the other may need silence; or one roommate may invite guests over and allow them to use on his/her roommate’s furniture without permission. Often the offending roommate is unaware there even is a problem.

It is important for your child to schedule ample time with his/her roommate to discuss the things bothering him/her. Free time when neither roommate has other pressing engagements is preferable. Types of discussion that are helpful consist of statements such as: “I feel disrespected when you invite friends over and sit on my bed when I’m not here, or when I need to study.” Also, “I get annoyed when you don’t ask before borrowing my favorite shirt.” Or, “Can we please create a list of personal belongings that we can or cannot borrow from each other?” Yet another, “How about we schedule time for watching TV, and time when it is quiet so we (or I) can study?” If the problem persists, the next step is for students to discuss concerns with their Resident Advisor (RA). Do not assume your child’s RA knows there is a problem unless your child has directly spoken with him or her.

The RAs are student members of our Residence Life staff who are trained to assist residents with conflict resolution by remaining neutral and encouraging pairs to discuss issues. RAs will set a time to mediate a conversation between roommates in which each person has the opportunity to share opinions and feelings about the concerns at hand. Members of our professional staff also play a role in resolving problems when more involvement is needed.

Residence Hall Policies

Residence Hall policies are designed to ensure the safety and well-being of all students in support of the overall mission of the college. The Office of Residence Life expects that students will assume personal responsibility for their behavior, as individual actions can affect the entire community. Residence Hall policies cover issues such as guest visitation, quiet hours, smoking, laundry and kitchen usage, parking, pets, and storage. Residents are bound by the terms of the Housing Contract that they receive with their housing assignment letter. This contract, as well as the comprehensive explanation of policies should be reviewed by both students and parents each year. This information can be found in the Student Handbook on the college’s website: http://www.lafayette.edu/student_life/

Housing Assignments

First year and transfer students’ housing assignments are determined by the Office of Residence Life based on availability, preferences, and deposit date. Sophomore, junior, and senior students select rooms during the Spring semester using a lottery system. Further details and explanations can be found in the Room Selection information on our website.

Custodial/Maintenance Services

If your child has maintenance concerns (heating, air conditioning, or plumbing issues, burnt out light bulbs, etc.) he/she should contact the RA or the Office of Residence Life. The Residence Life staff will request a detailed description of the problem and then forward the information to the Department of Plant Operations. Should maintenance problems continue, your child should contact the Office of Residence Life directly. We will follow up with Plant Operations regarding work order resolution delays.

Final Tips

At Lafayette and in the residence halls, students have countless opportunities to learn and grow. We expect that your child will explore new interests, establish his/her values, and possibly make a few mistakes along the way. You will walk with them along this new journey, but in a slightly different role than you have up until now. Your child may still look to you for guidance and advice as they begin paving their own path into maturity and we hope to help in making this time as smooth a transition as possible.

For any additional information please feel free to view our website: www.lafayette.edu/~reslife or call our office at (610) 330-5335 to speak with a professional staff member. As a further resource, we encourage you to visit the Parents’ website: www.lafayette.edu/community/parents/